Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski
Title: Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
Author: Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski
Pages: 271
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Genre: Nonfiction
Source: Personal Copy
Format: Kindle
Summary (back of book)
Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things - and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. How can you “love your body” when every magazine cover has ten diet tips for becoming “your best self”? How do you “lean in” at work when you’re already operating at 100 percent and aren’t recognized for it? How can you live happily and healthily in a sexist world that is constantly telling you you’re too fat, too needy, too noisy, and too selfish?
Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against - and show us how to fight back. In these pages you’ll learn
what you can do to complete the biological stress cycle - and return your body to a state of relaxation
how to manage the “monitor” in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration
how the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies - and how to defend yourself against it
why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are keys to recovering and preventing burnout
With the help of eye-opening science, prescriptive advice, and helpful worksheets and exercises, all women will find something transformative in these pages - and will be empowered to create positive change. Emily and Amelia aren’t here to preach the broad platitudes of expensive self-care or insist that we strive for the impossible goal of “having it all”. Instead, they tell us that we are enough, just as we are - and that wellness, true wellness, is within our reach.
Review
I listen to a podcast about self-care called “Forever35”. I first heard about this book because Emily and Amelia were guests - they were terrific guests. They were smart, and funny, and I found the subject so interesting. I decided to give this book a try.
I’m not a worksheet or exercise person when it comes to stuff like this - but if you are, I’m sure you’ll find the inclusion of that material super helpful. Unrelated, each chapter ends with a section called tl;dr (too long; didn’t read). I found this hilarious and also helpful because it really buttoned up each chapter nicely.
One of the most fascinating parts of the book, for me, was about the stress response cycle. The big information I gleaned from this book was explaining why exercise gives me so much stress relief. The short version is that when you encounter a stressor you get this adrenaline rush - long ago this may have been encountering a wild animal. A conflict at work isn’t the same as being face to face with a wild boar, but my body is responding similarly. But when the stress at work goes away, it’s my brain saying “everything is fine now”. I didn’t do what my body wants to do - which is run away from the wild boar and reunite with my loved ones, rejoicing that I’m alive and well and escaped. My relief from my work stress is mental but my body had a physical reaction and wants to complete the cycle. I’ve always felt that exercises keeps my stress in check and I think this is why. It gives me a chance to get all of that out. Reading this book has been helpful in reminding myself that the exercise really is a big part of what I can be doing to help myself.
I also really loved reading about “Bikini Industrial Complex”. It’s crazy to remind yourself that there’s a billion dollar industry dedicated to making people feel bad in order to push their product/method/ideal. I’m not sure the folks who work for these organizations really process what’s happening, but it’s definitely what’s going on. It’s a good reminder. There are many companies who benefit and count on women (and to some extent, men) feeling bad enough about themselves to use their product.
There were a few things about this book that did not resonate with me. I don’t think I suffer from “human giver syndrome”. I think that most of the time I’m able to cut myself quite a bit of slack. I don’t experience guilt over my imperfections like some women do. Still, overall, I thought this book was excellent and had great information. Super well-researched and smart. Everything in this book has science to back it up. I appreciate that so much in a “self help” book.
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